Can adult autism/aspergers get worse with age?

[Zed]

It seems as I'm approaching 50 (in 6 months) the abilities I've
developed over the years to function in the real world are declining
or reverting to what they were minor child.

I feel like, and have experienced empirical proof, that I'm losing my
grip.

What a layman might refer to as "daydreaming" or "slacking" too much
and letting letting my responsibilities fall by the wayside.

[Autindividual]

Post by Zed
It seems as I'm approaching 50 (in 6 months) the abilities I've
developed over the years to function in the real world are declining
or reverting to what they were minor child.
I feel like, and have experienced empirical proof, that I'm losing my
grip.
What a layman might refer to as "daydreaming" or "slacking" too much
and letting letting my responsibilities fall by the wayside.

Since I've never personally considered autism to be something bad, only
different, the idea of it getting 'worse' (than what?) is a concept I can't
really quite understand.

However, I have observed that the deterioration of abilities, faculties,
etc., both physical and mental, is more often than not, the result of
atrophy from either insufficient use or nonuse, so I'm pretty much
convinced that life is something that will not work out very well by just
letting it all go by, but rather must be regularly, diligently, and
conscientiously Practiced.

[Zed]

Post by Autindividual

Post by Zed
It seems as I'm approaching 50 (in 6 months) the abilities I've
developed over the years to function in the real world are declining
or reverting to what they were minor child.
I feel like, and have experienced empirical proof, that I'm losing my
grip.
What a layman might refer to as "daydreaming" or "slacking" too much
and letting letting my responsibilities fall by the wayside.

Since I've never personally considered autism to be something bad, only
different, the idea of it getting 'worse' (than what?) is a concept I can't
really quite understand.

Then I suppose you never had a horrific experience during your school
years, by being completely out of sync with the curriculum and all the
other students socially. Or when starting out in life as a young man.
At 18 I was completely on my own and have been ever since. The first
few years were hard core hard knocks, because I didn't fit in with the
mainstream design plan.

Too much different is bad when you need a certain amount of sameness
to function in the real world. If I was living with people who looked
after me, it wouldn't be a problem. Then being different wouldn't be
an issue.

Post by Autindividual
However, I have observed that the deterioration of abilities, faculties,
etc., both physical and mental, is more often than not, the result of
atrophy from either insufficient use or nonuse, so I'm pretty much
convinced that life is something that will not work out very well by just
letting it all go by, but rather must be regularly, diligently, and
conscientiously Practiced.

This is a matter of feeling like I'm losing my touch at operating in a
manner that is unnatural for me. In my case, the ability to function
in the real world isn't learned behavior. It's mimicked behavior. It's
going completely against the grain. I have no problem whatsoever as
far as my natural abilities and faculties el al, go. As a matter of
fact, they're becoming stronger and more dominant. Unfortunately,
they're only of value on planet Zed.

Thanks for the lecture and pep talk. A little understanding was more
of what I was looking for. But thanks anyways, dad.

[Autindividual]

Post by Zed
Then I suppose you never had a horrific experience during your school
years, by being completely out of sync with the curriculum and all the
other students socially.

Oh, please don't suppose that! I was already Horrified at the very prospect
of going to school when I was 4, beforehand, particularly when I was told
that I would be Forced to go to school when I turned 6 - I can still
remember that 'big' scary word; "compulsory", being added to my vocabulary
at that early age, and the idea of being made to be around strangers whom I
really didn't ever want any part of being around in the first place as it
was enough for me to cope with 2 parents and 2 siblings. I already knew in
advance that I'd never fit in with a bunch of strange kids because I really
didn't even fit in all that well with my own family, which at least
accepted me for being family. Such was not to be expected with strangers,
who likewise thought I was 'strange', 'weird', 'peculiar', etc...and
bullied me accordingly, throughout my entire 'compulsory' schooling.

Post by Zed
Or when starting out in life as a young man.

I don't know about that, but starting out in life a young woman was an
ordeal too...mostly because others (NT of course) Made it an ordeal,
Needlessly, of course.

Post by Zed
At 18 I was completely on my own and have been ever since. The first
few years were hard core hard knocks, because I didn't fit in with the
mainstream design plan.

It's got to be more than only the first few years. I don't think I can
recall any time when the hard knocks weren't hard core for me. When I was
18, I had been a caregiver for 5 years already - 24/7 hard knocks...and
I've never really fit in with mainstream anything, which is probably why
I'm basically an asocial person...and also why I prefer to do the designing
myself.

Post by Zed
Too much different is bad when you need a certain amount of sameness
to function in the real world.

I've given that particular matter lots of deep thought for such a long
time, starting when I entered the first grade at age 6 - and the results
kept coming back the same, that my best course was to be myself and not
pretend to be anyone else, although I did learn to mimic NT silliness, but
only for survival situations. When it came to functioning in the NT world,
I've always made it a point to tap my own 'autistic' uniqueness/skills to
bring out those factors which would enhance that functioning, mostly by
providing resourcefulness which they'd appreciate according to my
observations of what might favorably impress them and thus meet with some
semblance of their approval. So far, I've been mostly successful in that
endeavor although not as much as I'd like - but at least I don't have to
pretend to be someone other than myself, because I won't.

Post by Zed
If I was living with people who looked
after me, it wouldn't be a problem. Then being different wouldn't be
an issue.

That situation didn't work out too well for me as when I was a lot younger,
and being looked after, it seemed that just about everyone else was always
trying to change me - Unsuccessfully, Most Happily. And even when I was the
one doing the looking after later on, I was still being imposed upon to be
more 'normal'...yet nobody could ever manage to tell me just what I was
doing or being that was so 'wrong'...so therefore they had no case as far
as I was concerned, then, and now.

Post by Zed
This is a matter of feeling like I'm losing my touch at operating in a
manner that is unnatural for me.

Sounds like simple burn-out, which is why if I'm to mimic what is unnatural
for me, I'll always keep it to a minimum, for my own sanity if nothing
else.

Post by Zed
In my case, the ability to function
in the real world isn't learned behavior. It's mimicked behavior.

Same here. I didn't learn it, rather, I learned About it, and I still don't
agree with it as it doesn't agree with me.

Post by Zed
It's
going completely against the grain. I have no problem whatsoever as
far as my natural abilities and faculties el al, go. As a matter of
fact, they're becoming stronger and more dominant. Unfortunately,
they're only of value on planet Zed.

You're entitled to your own planet - everyone is. In other words, you're
better at being yourself than at pretending to be anyone else. GOD BLESS
YOU! So you're really YOU after all - too bad the NE Phonies don't Want to
Understand that.
It just boils my you-know-what to hear that anyone should have to endure
that CRAP to impress a bunch of nonthinking Idiots, the ones with the Real
Disorder.

Post by Zed
Thanks for the lecture and pep talk. A little understanding was more
of what I was looking for. But thanks anyways, dad.

I just have this thing about being oneself and boil over when I learn that
anyone is being essentially made to torture themselves because that's what
Fools demand. Reminds me of the Black Sabbath song (the lyrics of which I
should post in the Asperger's anthems thread) entitled "Killing Yourself To
Live"...something I absolutely Refuse to do as I've had some small samples
and can't stand it. They can call me 'severely' autistic all they want. In
reality, I'm Not 'severely' autistic, I'm Profoundly autistic ;)
And it's not a bad thing.
Stupid, Ignorant, Arrogant, Insensitive, Intolerant Compliant Conformists
are the bad thing!!!

[Dolphinius]

Post by Zed
Then I suppose you never had a horrific experience during your school
years, by being completely out of sync with the curriculum and all the
other students socially. Or when starting out in life as a young man.
At 18 I was completely on my own and have been ever since.

I relate to that. I have always been out of sync socially and have
pretty much always been on my own for most of my adult life.

I think the former is evidenced by the fact that despite the fact I
have a lot of grey hair and am aged approximately 40 years old, most
people think I am much younger than that because of my attitudes and
behaviour.

Post by Zed
This is a matter of feeling like I'm losing my touch at operating in a
manner that is unnatural for me. In my case, the ability to function
in the real world isn't learned behavior. It's mimicked behavior. It's
going completely against the grain. I have no problem whatsoever as
far as my natural  abilities and faculties el al, go. As a matter of
fact, they're becoming stronger and more dominant. Unfortunately,
they're only of value on planet Zed.

I try to mix a mixture of being myself and applying skills that are
helpful socially.

Basically, most of the time I behave as though I don't care what
people think of me but whenever I interact with anyone (even just
little things like brief small talk with a shop assistant or just
holding the door open for someone I try to behave in a considerate way
and try to improve their day just a little bit).

Dolphinius
(Male, age 40 +/- a few months, UK, self-diagnosed AS)

[Alice]

Post by Zed
It seems as I'm approaching 50 (in 6 months) the abilities I've
developed over the years to function in the real world are declining
or reverting to what they were minor child.
I feel like, and have experienced empirical proof, that I'm losing my
grip.
What a layman might refer to as "daydreaming" or "slacking" too much
and letting letting my responsibilities fall by the wayside.

I've found that my ability to function, especially mentally, is extremely
impaired by stress, even if I'm unaware until after the fact of how stressed I
am/was. This, in turn, makes it very difficult to 'mask' some of my more overtly
autistic behaviors in public or personal relations. Is this a possible reason
for your 'feeling'?

-alice

[Autindividual]

Post by Alice
I've found that my ability to function, especially mentally, is
extremely impaired by stress, even if I'm unaware until after the fact
of how stressed I am/was. This, in turn, makes it very difficult to
'mask' some of my more overtly autistic behaviors in public or
personal relations. Is this a possible reason for your 'feeling'?
-alice

WOW - did you ever nail that dead on!

My boss (I'm not presently working at a 'real' job, that is, in my
scientific and technical career field, where I belong, but rather driving
medical patients around instead) regularly tells me to 'focus' - after he
does something to stress me out - and he knows what he's doing because I've
told him so many times before, and I say; "Focus? When I'm stressed, like
that, I can't even function, much less focus"! And the stress overload of
late has resulted in my stuttering, something I've Never done before. Yet,
without the overstress, I'm fine, no problems at all. But then I've been
tortured with intense stress for 34 years taking care of 2 sick parents,
consecutively - my father, with Crohn's Disease for 13 years, then less
than 2 years after his death, my mother, for 21 years after a massive
stroke which left her paralyzed on the left side and her dementia growing
progressively worse the whole time. In other words, I've had much more than
enough stress for several lifetimes.

The REAL Problem is those who subject others to Stress. When those who
dispense stress are notified about it, and continue to administer such
Abuse, it ought to be considered a Felony...because stress Literally kills
and there's absolutely Nothing good or useful about it - ever!

[Buzzard]

Post by Autindividual

Post by Alice
I've found that my ability to function, especially mentally, is
extremely impaired by stress, even if I'm unaware until after the fact
of how stressed I am/was. This, in turn, makes it very difficult to
'mask' some of my more overtly autistic behaviors in public or
personal relations. Is this a possible reason for your 'feeling'?
-alice

WOW - did you ever nail that dead on!
My boss (I'm not presently working at a 'real' job, that is, in my
scientific and technical career field, where I belong, but rather driving
medical patients around instead) regularly tells me to 'focus' - after he
does something to stress me out - and he knows what he's doing because I've
told him so many times before, and I say; "Focus? When I'm stressed, like
that, I can't even function, much less focus"! And the stress overload of
late has resulted in my stuttering, something I've Never done before. Yet,
without the overstress, I'm fine, no problems at all. But then I've been
tortured with intense stress for 34 years taking care of 2 sick parents,
consecutively - my father, with Crohn's Disease for 13 years, then less
than 2 years after his death, my mother, for 21 years after a massive
stroke which left her paralyzed on the left side and her dementia growing
progressively worse the whole time. In other words, I've had much more than
enough stress for several lifetimes.
The REAL Problem is those who subject others to Stress. When those who
dispense stress are notified about it, and continue to administer such
Abuse, it ought to be considered a Felony...because stress Literally kills
and there's absolutely Nothing good or useful about it - ever!

That's for sure. I've also noticed the way some people (especially
bosses)
tend to intentionally heap stress upon others, just because they
can.
It kind of reminds me of a PBS documentary about baboons, who, in
their
natural habitat of plentiful food and what should be a life of ease,
instead
make one another completely miserable as each one vies to be the head
honcho by any means possible.

--
Buzzard

[Autindividual]

Post by Buzzard
That's for sure. I've also noticed the way some people (especially
bosses)
tend to intentionally heap stress upon others, just because they
can.
It kind of reminds me of a PBS documentary about baboons, who, in
their
natural habitat of plentiful food and what should be a life of ease,
instead
make one another completely miserable as each one vies to be the head
honcho by any means possible.
--
Buzzard

Well at least with the baboons, there's an actual struggle of competition
going on, silly and unnecessary as it may be...which naturally, would be
stressfull. But in my case, it's nothing like that, but the stress is there
anyway. At least when I was in my element, the laboratory mostly, in my
career doing what I enjoy and do best, the stress was entirely predictable
as to origin, cause, and intensity, which meant that I could at least
practice my lifelong training in bully avoidance tactics - but it's
different when I'm trying to get someone to an appointment on time, Idiots
who shouldn't be on the road in the first place, keep getting in the way,
endangering and slowing me down and generally being stupid as they always
do, plus my having a long way to go, plus trying to juggle time and pick up
someone else either immediately before, after, or even during taking one
person already plus the boss constantly calling to pester me about why I
can't change the laws of time and space to suit the situation. Driving with
Idiots is definitely Not for me and never will be - I want my Real career
back!...or at least something where I won't have to be dealing with people
so much - THEY'RE A STRESSFUL NUISANCE!!!

[Rich Ulrich]

Post by Alice

Post by Zed
It seems as I'm approaching 50 (in 6 months) the abilities I've
developed over the years to function in the real world are declining
or reverting to what they were minor child.
I feel like, and have experienced empirical proof, that I'm losing my
grip.
What a layman might refer to as "daydreaming" or "slacking" too much
and letting letting my responsibilities fall by the wayside.

I've found that my ability to function, especially mentally, is extremely
impaired by stress, even if I'm unaware until after the fact of how stressed I
am/was. This, in turn, makes it very difficult to 'mask' some of my more overtly
autistic behaviors in public or personal relations. Is this a possible reason
for your 'feeling'?

It is also common to note that people do not function at
their best when they are tired. Do you physically feel tired?
That could be vitamin deficiency, anemia, allergic reaction,
hormonal changes....

Have you seen a doctor about your physical health?

[Zed]

Post by Rich Ulrich

Post by Alice

Post by Zed
It seems as I'm approaching 50 (in 6 months) the abilities I've
developed over the years to function in the real world are declining
or reverting to what they were minor child.
I feel like, and have experienced empirical proof, that I'm losing my
grip.
What a layman might refer to as "daydreaming" or "slacking" too much
and letting letting my responsibilities fall by the wayside.

I've found that my ability to function, especially mentally, is extremely
impaired by stress, even if I'm unaware until after the fact of how stressed I
am/was. This, in turn, makes it very difficult to 'mask' some of my more overtly
autistic behaviors in public or personal relations. Is this a possible reason
for your 'feeling'?

It is also common to note that people do not function at
their best when they are tired.  Do you physically feel tired?
That could be vitamin deficiency, anemia, allergic reaction,
hormonal changes....
Have you seen a doctor about your physical health?
--
Rich Ulrich

Post by Alice

Post by Zed
It seems as I'm approaching 50 (in 6 months) the abilities I've
developed over the years to function in the real world are declining
or reverting to what they were minor child.
I feel like, and have experienced empirical proof, that I'm losing my
grip.
What a layman might refer to as "daydreaming" or "slacking" too much
and letting letting my responsibilities fall by the wayside.

I've found that my ability to function, especially mentally, is extremely
impaired by stress, even if I'm unaware until after the fact of how stressed I
am/was. This, in turn, makes it very difficult to 'mask' some of my more overtly
autistic behaviors in public or personal relations. Is this a possible reason
for your 'feeling'?

It is also common to note that people do not function at
their best when they are tired. Do you physically feel tired?
That could be vitamin deficiency, anemia, allergic reaction,
hormonal changes....
Have you seen a doctor about your physical health?
--
Rich Ulrich

I'm not lacking energy or motivation. I'm not depressed. I don't need
vitamins, or to pull myself up by my bootstraps or to keep a stiff
upper lip.
I'm not laying around like a blob. I'm actually more active than ever.
I've always been very hyperactive with severe ADHD. Keeping myself
subdued, is one the the things I'm losing a knack for. Right now I'm
doing about five things at once.

I just feel like I'm losing my knack at fitting in with the natives
and mimicking their rituals which has gotten me through life in their
world.

From barely functioning autistic, to fairly high functioning autistic,
back to barely functioning autistic.

I'm sorry to everyone if I'm coming off as too terse.

[Alice]

Post by Zed
I'm sorry to everyone if I'm coming off as too terse.

you don't seem terse to me.

-alice

[Dolphinius]

Post by Zed
I'm not laying around like a blob. I'm actually more active than ever.
I've always been very hyperactive with severe ADHD. Keeping myself
subdued, is one the the things I'm losing a knack for. Right now I'm
doing about five things at once.

ADHD is difficult. I generally get on well with people with ADHD
(because they seem very tolerant of some of my extreme thoughts and
non-standard views), but I don't have any of that myself and find it
difficult to empathise with what it feels like. So I apologise if I am
not very good at addressing your problems.

Post by Zed
I'm sorry to everyone if I'm coming off as too terse.

You're not. Or even if you are I don't see what the problem is. People
should be able to write how they feel on ASA, which contains a lot of
very tolerant people. (I think I am tolerant because I don't
understand very well how the world works and therefore I tend to
observe rather than judge.)

Dolphinius
(Male, age 40 +/- a few months, UK, self-diagnosed AS)

[Zed]

Post by Alice

Post by Zed
It seems as I'm approaching 50 (in 6 months) the abilities I've
developed over the years to function in the real world are declining
or reverting to what they were minor child.
I feel like, and have experienced empirical proof, that I'm losing my
grip.
What a layman might refer to as "daydreaming" or "slacking" too much
and letting letting my responsibilities fall by the wayside.

I've found that my ability to function, especially mentally, is extremely
impaired by stress, even if I'm unaware until after the fact of how stressed I
am/was. This, in turn, makes it very difficult to 'mask' some of my more overtly
autistic behaviors in public or personal relations. Is this a possible reason
for your 'feeling'?

That's a very good point. I've been subjected to a string of
circumstances outside of my control over the last couple of years,
that have caused a tremendous amount of stress. That in combination
with the effort to operate against my true nature in order to survive
in this world has taken it's toll I suppose. That puts it in better
perspective. Thanks.

I've always felt from the time I was a young man, that I had a tenuous
grip at best and my fear has always been that eventually I'd lose it.
People in general have trouble at believing that none of it comes
naturally to me. Because according to them, I function so well along
those lines. But it's all smoke and mirrors and flying by the seat of
my pants and plain old luck that's gotten me successfully through the
last 31 years alone on my own.

[Dolphinius]

Post by Zed
I've always felt from the time I was a young man, that I had a tenuous
grip at best and my fear has always been that eventually I'd lose it.
People in general have trouble at believing that none of it comes
naturally to me. Because according to them, I function so well along
those lines. But it's all smoke and mirrors and flying by the seat of
my pants and plain old luck that's gotten me successfully through the
last 31 years alone on my own.

Is there anything more than luck? That may have played a part, but you
sound like you have some strength of character too.

Dolphinius
(Male, age 40 +/- a few months, UK, self-diagnosed AS)

[Jeßus]

Post by Alice

Post by Zed
It seems as I'm approaching 50 (in 6 months) the abilities I've
developed over the years to function in the real world are declining
or reverting to what they were minor child.
I feel like, and have experienced empirical proof, that I'm losing my
grip.
What a layman might refer to as "daydreaming" or "slacking" too much
and letting letting my responsibilities fall by the wayside.

I've found that my ability to function, especially mentally, is extremely
impaired by stress, even if I'm unaware until after the fact of how stressed I
am/was. This, in turn, makes it very difficult to 'mask' some of my more overtly
autistic behaviors in public or personal relations.

Wow... can I ever relate to that.

[Dolphinius]

Post by Alice
I've found that my ability to function, especially mentally, is extremely
impaired by stress, even if I'm unaware until after the fact of how stressed I
am/was. This, in turn, makes it very difficult to 'mask' some of my more overtly
autistic behaviors in public or personal relations. Is this a possible reason
for your 'feeling'?

Good point. And tiredness is a big factor too, although I am
increasingly able to function adequately on less sleep than I used to.

Dolphinius
(Male, age 40 +- a few months, UK, self-diagnosed AS)

[Dolphinius]

Post by Zed
It seems as I'm approaching 50 (in 6 months) the abilities I've
developed over the years to function in the real world are declining
or reverting to what they were minor child.
I feel like, and have experienced empirical proof, that I'm losing my
grip.
What a layman might refer to as "daydreaming" or "slacking" too much
and letting letting my responsibilities fall by the wayside.

I don't know what it's like at 50, but at 40 +/- a few months I feel
that what I have learnt is increasingly compensating for my autistic
tendencies.

In fact, I have done something recently (in terms of dealing with
other people) that has even surprised myself in terms of achieving a
good outcome without offending anyone.

Probably around age 40 will be the peak of my abilities. As I age I
wonder what will happen.

Dolphinius
(Male, age 40 +/- a few months, UK, self-diagnosed AS)

[doingmybest]

Post by Zed
It seems as I'm approaching 50 (in 6 months) the abilities I've
developed over the years to function in the real world are declining
or reverting to what they were minor child.
I have a close friend with who is also having more trouble with age. I thought that it was my imagination, but I do believe it is true. Communication is becoming more and more difficult. Sometimes what I say is not understood at all even in situations when I believe that I have been perfectly clear. Even if what we are experiencing is true, then the next question is what can be done about it. I suppose the solution (sadly) is more patience and effort all around.
I feel like, and have experienced empirical proof, that I'm losing my
grip.
What a layman might refer to as "daydreaming" or "slacking" too much
and letting letting my responsibilities fall by the wayside.