Okay okay you people are way off the subject here. LOL... not that it
matters much...
I've just been reading obsessively about aspergers and autism for a while
trying to understand it and its relation to me and my behaviors lately. I
have come to some slightly doubt drinking Kombucha tea will "cure" me.
(haha, but of course not, right?) Then again, maybe my self-diagnosis is
wrong. But what about this test that rated me at 41, highly autistic:
http://www.msnbc.com/modules/newsweek/autism_quotient/default.asp
And what about this page:
http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/
Just like me in so many ways, caught in my own world throughout school
(bored, was my excuse to myself...), and though I don't think I have a *big*
problem recognizing faces, I can recall times when someone was wearing
something significantly different or had changed their style of clothing and
I had to look for a while to recognize that it was the same person. Hey, I
think I can barely recognize myself when I grow a beard... not that I'm apt
to look at myself except with shaving.
Initially I was embarrassed to say publicly that I believe myself to be an
"aspie", but as I come to understand it better I realize no one should judge
me negatively for it (unless I apply for a job as a secondary school
teacher, or a therapist, or ... well they require training, anyway...) But I
sometimes thought I might make a good teacher, because I would break
knowledge down into little pieces and explain things thoroughly. Yet I think
I'd either find relating to a whole class of students to be overwhelming, or
(more likely) I'd just be stuck in my own world, lecturing, and wonder why
some students don't understand me. Unable to gauge interest, I might fail to
keep it.
Another interesting link? Someone who claims to be a "fully recovered
autist"...
------------------------------------------------
http://www.conniptions.com/
Autism, Asperger Syndrome, Savant Brains and
Pervasive Development Disorders
A new understanding of Autism, Asperger Syndrome and Pervasive Developmental
Disorders from a fully recovered Asperger Autist
------------------------------------------------
Now, here's more of what I was originally going to post in my message (what
the heck...) Upon further thought, I realize I *can* organize, but often
procrastinate about it because I get so overwhelmed by the task and tend to
fail to break it into pieces and keep up with it on a daily basis...which
makes it worse...
--
A little of my story...
Last September, someone told me I have Aspergers. Later, reading online, I
recognized the symptoms as being mine, but remained skeptical. I have a
tendency to want to think nothing's wrong with me; I'm just a little
different and rather socially inept. Actually, I probably am downright
egotistical at times about my abilities...
But, to be general about it, the social and relationship experiences of my
last several years (at age 35 now) have
convinced me that something's wrong with my whole approach.. I never could
seem to make sense of people, reading faces is a foreign concept to me, etc;
the classic symptoms, I suppose, based on my (so-far) self-diagnosis.
I scored 41 on this test:
http://www.msnbc.com/modules/newsweek/autism_quotient/default.asp
...so it says I'm highly autistic.
Anyway, I was looking for a "cure", despite statements that that is
impossible (don't anyone ever tell me something's impossible!... Grr...),
and heavy
metal cleansing is the closest I have come up with so far. Sounds like it
works for some?
I understand this is a "syndrome", a "spectrum disorder", and not a
"disease", per se.... but if it's due to the lack of an ability to digest
heavy metals, then I suppose that is a deficiency of sorts. I wonder if
there is a medical test for that problem. Or a medical test for heavy
metals; that sounds easy... (Guess I should ask a doc...)
I've long had allergy problems, though they haven't been active as much in
recent years since (usually) eliminating milk from my diet (had some goats'
milk recently though), and having minimal wheat products, except for the
duration during which I was living with a dog. Maybe I'll eliminate wheat,
and oats as well (had no idea oats could be a problem. Not sure if I'm
gluten-intolerant or not..) I believe recent allergy symptoms of mine were
due to yeast, and think that Capsaicin (from www.herbaladvantage.com ) has
helped me overcome that. (Maybe Kombucha tea is helping too, I'm not sure.)
(I think I sound like a hypochondriac at times, and maybe I am... I'm not
*that* sick... just like to resolve my little problems by understanding
things better, though I know I'm obsessive about it all sometimes.)
I wonder if bentonite clay would help, and is safe to take internally...
even if with aluminum. I read it is...
About my work, etc:
I consider myself "high-functioning", other than that I have some problems
organizing my work. Organization, in-general, is a struggle for me (at some
levels; planning, goal-setting, etc...) ... but on the other hand I think I
often organize things well in my mind. For example, math, writing computer
programs, and converting an outline to a computer program are fairly easy,
but either things are obvious and I can do them right away, or the initial
creative effort required to determine all the needs and requirements for a
project seems to elude me. I work best when given specific projects to
complete, with specific requirements, and left on my own until I complete
them. That is, when I don't get distracted, which happens a lot... Small
projects are easy, but large ones require organization skills which elude
me.
I'm very good at critical thinking, and can find errors in my code or
others' code, but sometimes I can't see the forest for the trees, and am
overwhelmed by either too much information, too many variables, too much to
learn all at once, etc, and this causes things to take longer than I'm
comfortable with. I wanted to become a rapid reader to offset this tendency
I have for information overload, but felt unable to concentrate properly to
learn the skills, or just didn't have the patience for the practice.
Hated school. Hated homework. Despised history. Hated social science classes
in general. Had no interest in group sports, but liked tennis.
Liked math and usually liked science and became literally
obsessed with computers as an escape from all I hated and failed to
understand about the world.
I guess this points out more clearly how I need to make lists, plan more
carefully, etc. I liked to think that since I can organize small things
well in my head, I could organize large ones in my head too, but it simply
isn't true. No amount of computer skills can completely make up for a total
lack of organizational ones... (though computers help in many ways, as I'm
sure many with asperger's will concede...)
Is organizational ineptness an Aspergers trait? Macroscopically, I think it
is?
My approach to software is often to "hack"; to make small changes and slowly
evolve a new product. The technique works, but is sometimes slower than
people may have the patience for. The end product is generally well-written
and well-optimized.
I may never have the incredible creative ability for game design, for
example....though someday it might be an interesting challenge to try.
I often think I'd work better as a researcher than an
engineer/technician/designer, because I am obsessed at finding answers to
obscure problems.
Anyway, I guess it's time I stopped obsessing over all this... (or so I said
several days ago...but haven't yet)