Post by d***@fsmail.netPost by Aquarian MonkeyWhile I have found that early intervention was very helpful for my daughter, I knew nothing about my own issues as a child, but have learned ways to compensate. It is never too late to learn.
What were your own issues as a child. Apologies if I have not been reading all your posts, but I thought you only saw yourself as (at most) a shadow Aspie?
Dolphinius
(Male, age 40 +/- a few months, UK, self-diagnosed AS)
As a child, I struggled to fit in and although I do not know what I did that set me apart, I clearly did something because I was frequently the target of bullying and teasing, much the way my son is now. I know I got accused of "staring" at people a lot and being "stiff." I had a tendency toward literal interpretation of things sometimes, and a tendency to assume others thought/felt as I do. I also had a tendency, when really young, to dictate other people's behavior so that it fit the way I thought they were "supposed to be," much like my daughter does now. I also think I often misread social cues because sometimes I thought people liked me, but then they did mean things that made it clear that they didn't, and I'd be surprised, because I thought they were my friends.
The issues I was referring to are probably more related to my ADD. I have always had problems with organization, planning, initiating and completing tasks, and staying focused on things that are not of interest to me. As a kid, I got in trouble with my parents over being "lazy" and "not trying" but looking back, it was clearly ADD. For example, I used to constantly be in trouble for my room being such a mess and my parents got so frustrated because no matter what punishment they doled out, it stayed a mess. I do not remember this, but my mom told me that every time she told me to clean my room, I would tell her I didn't know how, and she would get mad and think I was just being difficult. Now she realizes that I was telling her the truth...I didn't know how to start. If she would have supported me differently, I probably would have been able to do it. Also, my grades in high school do not even nearly reflect my IQ, and in fact, I don't even think I realized that I am smarter than many others because my ADD gave me the impression that I wasn't. I thought I was only slightly above average at best or maybe on the high end of average. The military--where things are really structured and where structure was often imposed on me--was actually the first place I realized what my potential was. It was the first time I ever got grades that matched my IQ. But I wasn't left to my own devices to study (as I was as a kid) and I was actually taught methods of studying (which I wasn't as a kid).
If I don't put effort into it, I probably still struggle just as much with the same things. But I do know compensatory strategies now and when I have to, I use them. I will say that I only do it when I have to, because keeping them up seems like a lot of effort and sometimes I just want to live without working so hard, if that makes sense. And I can also say sometimes even the compensatory strategies I know don't seem to help. Sometimes my executive DYSfunction still gets the best of me.